Grandma’s Pearls of Wisdom

“I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up – Retired!”Pearls of Wisdom

“That time between late February and early March is called Farch.”

“Not sure what’s worse, wanting a man you can’t have or having a man you don’t want.”

“There’s many theories about how to argue with a woman. None of them work.”

“Seeking forgiveness from someone else is meaningless if you can’t forgive yourself.”

“Be nice to your children. One day they’ll be your parents.”

“Wear clothes tight enough so folks know you’re a woman, but loose enough so they can tell you’re a lady.”

“If it oinks, grunts, smells, or just lays there, I sure wouldn’t kiss it.”

“Age solves a lot problems; it just brings a whole new set of its own with it.”

“Life is a journey — be sure you don’t get left behind.”

“If it wiggles, jiggles, or shakes, nobody wants to see it. Keep it covered.”

“Life has a way of turning out the way God planned.”

“Make sure your fences are horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.”

“Folks can’t help who their relatives are. Judge them by their deeds.”

“Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than stuffin’ him back in.”

“Don’t pick fights with old coots. If they’re too old to fight, they’ll just shoot you.”

“Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.”

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